with a little help
Ūrdhva Padmāsana (upward lotus pose) in Śīrṣāsana (headstand)
Over the past year, the teachers I’ve been studying with have been teaching the advanced asanas from the Level 3 syllabus. These are challenging poses for most practitioners—add in knee or shoulder issues and they can seem impossible. One of the poses, Ūrdhva Padmāsana (upward lotus pose) in Śīrṣāsana (headstand) has eluded me for years. Padmāsana (lotus pose) has never been easy for me. While I have seen improvements, even as I have practiced it more carefully to avoid injury, this asana will always pose some challenge due to a tight hip and my proportions. So, to fold my legs into this position without using my hands while standing on my head—forget it!
During one of Lois Steinberg’s online classes, she kept me in the spotlight, for all to see. Her instructions coupled with her tenacity helped me get closer than I had ever been, but still, I wasn’t able to get the second leg into place. The experience wasn’t disappointing, it was encouraging; “almost there” made the possibility realistic. It made me crave the opportunity of an in-person class and the helping hands of a skilled teacher. In the months that followed, I practiced other asanas to help develop the pose. I ran into problems—my right hip just didn’t want to budge; all the movement went to my sacrum, which then took weeks to get back into place. This and similar setbacks felt disheartening—maybe this pose really wasn’t for me. Every time I encountered it in class, I gave the pose a half-hearted attempt. In practice, I focused on other variations in Śīrṣāsana—the ones I can do.
In November, Rebecca Lerner taught a weekend-long workshop at Jewel Yoga. While teaching the Śīrṣāsana variations, she nudged my right foot over my left leg, right into place. And there I was, albeit with help. I wanted to just stay there in the asana—let my body fully absorb it and leave an imprint, a somatic impression that I could return to. Later that night, while sharing food and conversation with my dear yoga friends, Karen Allgire shared that this pose took her a long time to develop, something she wasn't able to do until she was well into her 50s. This gave me hope. (I still have time!)
One morning shortly after, while in Śīrṣāsana, I started on the basic variations—Baddha Koṇāsana, Upaviṣṭha Koṇāsana, then one leg to Padmāsana. By shifting my legs, one going this way, so the opposite foot could manage to wiggle down toward the top of the thigh, I had a good starting point. Even as I proceeded with the second leg, I didn’t think it would make it into place (it’s a wonder I even tried), but I managed to get my right foot well enough onto my left thigh to call it a Padmāsana in Śīrṣāsana. I completely surprised myself!
This pose came from many years of practice, yes. But what really brought it into being was the help of my teachers and friends—their tenacity, confidence, understanding, a helping hand, shared experience. It reinforced the need to take classes (online and in-person) that are challenging, that ask me to do more than I think possible. The value of helping a student into a pose—to experience what may be out of reach and create a physical memory and positive mental impression. And the importance of community. I'm not a daring yoga practitioner; I'm full of doubt. But the words and actions of my teachers and friends spoke louder than my doubts and urged me to continue to practice something I didn't think was possible.
This asana is still a work in progress. Some days it doesn’t come at all, especially if the pace of a class doesn’t give me time enough to get it. It’s unlikely I’ll ever be one to just fold her legs effortlessly into Padmāsana but I’ll keep working at it. The pose itself isn’t what’s important—it’s what I’ve discovered about myself and experienced along the way.
As the new year begins, I hope you’ll consider practicing an asana you think is beyond your abilities, taking a class that challenges you to confront your perceived limitations, and seek the support of your yoga community, fellow practitioners and classmates. Let’s inspire each other!
Next week, the new term begins at Jewel Yoga. I’ll be co-teaching Iyengar Yoga Studies on January 5th and 6th with my friend and colleague Nina Pileggi; this is an all-levels opportunity to explore the many aspects of yoga—asana, pranayama, yoga philosophy and chanting.
For those who have experience with pranayama, the hybrid series continues January 4. If you’re interested in beginning pranayama, I plan on offering a beginning series in March.
Lastly, there are a few spaces left in the week-long yoga retreat in April. Join me and Nina for a week of yoga and friendship on Mexico’s warm Pacific Coast.